you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
