a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
