yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
