Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize