Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
