sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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