I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
