i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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