please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize