Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dick very happy bro
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
