I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
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I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
