did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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