Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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