let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
