If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
