I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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