I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
