He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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