NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
