Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel like death gave me a hand job
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
