i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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