Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
