no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
