Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
smell my finger.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize