Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
