Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
