How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
