Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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