i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
