I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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