HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
