I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
