Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize