Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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