On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
