1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
