I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize