chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
