He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
