Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
