He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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