I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
