I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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