Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
