He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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