watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
