Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
