Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
