Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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