WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
