Whats the glycemic index on semen?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
God, I missed his penis.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
