Kiss
Puke
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
