So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
