Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
