just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
