I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize