i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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