so explain again why im purple
no
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
