I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
