I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
