i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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