Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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