youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
