It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
