So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
