I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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