The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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