it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
