should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
