At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
