i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize