he puts the penis in happiness.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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