I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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