the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
