Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
