she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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