I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
