dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
