I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
