No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize