The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
