white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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