We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
NoShamevember. You game?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
