Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
