I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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