If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
